Puja Tomar: From Rejection to UFC Success, Shattering Gender Barriers

Puja Tomar, the only Indian woman to ever fight in the UFC, shares a deeply personal and powerful story of resilience and empowerment. Born in a society where girls were often seen as less valuable than boys, Tomar faced rejection from her own parents because she was a girl. Yet, her remarkable journey from rejection to becoming a UFC fighter stands as a testament to the power of determination and breaking societal barriers.

Tomar’s Early Struggles: Rejection and Resilience

In an emotional interview, Tomar revealed that her parents initially did not want her because she was a girl. This harsh reality, though shocking to many, is something that shaped her entire career and character. Growing up in a small village called Budhana in Uttar Pradesh, Tomar was the third of three sisters, and the desire for a male child was deeply ingrained in her family’s mindset. “Before I was born, they wanted a boy. Even when I was a newborn, my mum told me my father didn’t want a third girl,” Tomar recalls.

Her parents’ initial rejection, however, was not the end of her story but the beginning of her unwavering resilience. “I learned to fight because I wanted to prove myself,” says Tomar. This spirit of determination would propel her into the world of mixed martial arts (MMA), where she would go on to break barriers not just in sports, but in the larger cultural narrative around gender in India.

Gender Discrimination in India: Tomar’s Fight Against Tradition

Tomar’s story is reflective of a larger issue in India, where preference for male children over females remains common. Historically, Indian families have shown a strong preference for boys, which often leads to a skewed sex ratio. In many cases, girls are viewed as burdens due to the dowry system and their eventual departure to their matrimonial homes. This deep-rooted cultural bias means that many girls in India face discrimination from birth, with some even subjected to harmful practices like gender-biased sex selection, as highlighted by the United Nations.

Tomar was no stranger to this discrimination. Her family, like many others, longed for a son, and her father’s disappointment in having only daughters led to societal ridicule. Yet, she did not allow this discrimination to define her future. Instead, it became the driving force behind her determination to excel and prove that girls are just as capable as boys. “After my father passed away when I was just seven, I was determined to fight back. I wanted to prove that I could beat the boys,” says Tomar.

Tomar’s Early Years: Overcoming Cultural Barriers

Tomar’s desire to fight boys was more than just about proving her physical strength; it was a response to the misogyny and gender-based limitations imposed on her. As a child, Tomar would often watch Jackie Chan movies and practice kung-fu, mimicking the martial arts star’s moves in an effort to one day stand up against the boys. “I wanted to be like Jackie Chan, so I learned kung-fu and how to fight boys,” says Tomar. This mindset helped shape the indomitable spirit that would later propel her into the world of combat sports.

However, the path was not easy. In India, societal expectations make it difficult for girls to pursue sports, particularly those as demanding as MMA. Tomar faced immense pressure from her family and community, who did not approve of girls engaging in physical activities outside the home. “My family and society didn’t allow girls to go outside or participate in sports. But my mum fought for me,” she reveals. Her mother’s unwavering support became the cornerstone of her journey, allowing Tomar to break free from societal constraints and chase her dreams.

From Humble Beginnings to UFC Success

Puja Tomar aims a kick at Rayanne dos Santos in a UFC fight

Puja Tomar’s journey to the UFC was not smooth sailing. She started her MMA training at the age of 24, without any prior experience or proper coaching. “I trained in MMA with no coach and no experience. Sometimes I would get help from others, but I had no formal training,” Tomar recalls. In India, MMA training facilities were scarce, and gender biases made it even more difficult for her to find a place to train.

In Indian society, where traditional norms dictate that women must train in modest attire, Tomar’s efforts to train with men were met with resistance. “In my society, you have to be fully clothed when you train with men, which made it even harder,” says Tomar. Despite these barriers, Tomar persisted and eventually moved to Bali, Indonesia, where she trained at Soma Fight Club, a gym that has been instrumental in her development as a fighter.

In 2023, after an impressive four-fight winning streak, Tomar’s hard work and dedication paid off when she was signed by the UFC. This marked a historic achievement, as she became the first Indian woman to compete in the prestigious organization. Her journey from a small village in Uttar Pradesh to the UFC stage is a testament to her resilience, determination, and the power of breaking through societal barriers.

Using the UFC Platform to Empower Girls

Puja Tomar’s success in the UFC is not just about her accomplishments in the cage; it is about the message she is sending to young girls across India and the world. Using her platform, Tomar encourages parents to be proud of their daughters and to support them in pursuing their dreams, regardless of societal expectations.

“I just want to tell every parent to be proud you have a girl. Give confidence to your girls, give belief to them,” she says. “Because if I can do it, many more can. Just open the gate and give them opportunities.”

Since Tomar’s UFC debut, many parents in her village have reached out to ask how they can get their daughters involved in MMA, a movement that fills her with pride. “It makes me proud that parents are now asking how their daughters can start in MMA. This is a huge step forward,” Tomar explains.

Tomar’s success has also inspired other women to break the shackles of societal norms and pursue careers in sports. Her message resonates with countless young girls, offering them a glimpse of the possibilities that lie beyond the kitchen and traditional gender roles.

The Challenges Faced by Indian Sportswomen

Despite the progress that Tomar represents, the journey for female athletes in India is still fraught with challenges. Apart from gender discrimination, Indian sportswomen face multiple barriers, including underfunded sports programs, limited access to training resources, and in some cases, harassment and assault.

Tomar’s breakthrough into MMA and the UFC is even more remarkable considering the lack of infrastructure and support for women in Indian sports. But her story is one of perseverance, and her commitment to pushing boundaries is what has made her a trailblazer for future generations of female athletes.

Tomar’s Vision for the Future

Looking ahead, Puja Tomar remains determined to continue making history. “I just want to keep working hard, keep going, and win, win, win. One day I want to be on top,” she says, with unshakable confidence. Her journey is far from over, and with her continued success in the UFC, there is no telling how far she will go.

Her message is clear: girls can do anything if given the chance. Tomar’s journey from rejection to UFC success has shattered the glass ceiling for many women in India, and her legacy will inspire generations to come.

Puja Tomar’s story is not just about MMA; it is about overcoming societal expectations, fighting against discrimination, and empowering young girls to dream big. She is proof that with resilience, determination, and support, anything is possible.

Puja Tomar